Nilbog is Goblin Spelt Backwards! (And 9 Other Cult Classics)

Joshua has an unsettling experience in Troll 2 Joshua has an unsettling experience in Troll 2

You may not agree with my choices. Perhaps you will be so enraged as to shove this fine offering where the sun don’t shine (my face, it being Ireland after all). Well that’s the great thing about cult followings isn’t it? Perhaps the film in question limped meekly onto video or DVD, only to be discovered and worshipped by a small but determined group of fans thereafter. Some may have enjoyed more than a crumb of success at the box office and, others still are forever relegated to the status of guilty pleasure on the 100th viewing. Everyone has their own favourites and if this piece does nothing but spark an argument amongst old friends over pints, I’ll be happy.

1)  Troll 2

The title would have you believe it is in some way related to the first instalment of Troll, but this would be a mistake. Join Joshua and co. as they battle for their lives in the mysterious town of Nilbog in the film that spawned a thousand catch-phrases, creepy Grandpa Seth, and shape-shifting vegetarian goblins.  Having at one stage secured IMDB.com’s less than prestigious title of Worst Film of All-Time, the film’s stars currently spend their time touring Troll 2 Conventions outside of their (unsurprisingly non-acting) jobs.  “Nobody pisses on hospitality! I won’t allow it!” (Trivia: not a single troll appears in this ‘so bad its good’ masterpiece).

2)  Pulp Fiction

So often cited in ‘Top Ten Cult Films of All Time’ articles as to be almost mainstream, this is one of the most visually stimulating cult films out there, boosting a killer soundtrack and a legendary dance scene.  Jules (Samuel L. ‘Snakes on a Plane’ Jackson) and Vincent (John ‘Scientologist’ Travolta) are two hitmen on the hunt for a missing briefcase on behalf of their gangster boss. Woven into the story is a conflicted boxer (Bruce Willis), the armed raiders Pumpkin and Honey Bunny, and an always on form Christopher Walken. Even director Quentin Tarantino puts in an appearance, alongside Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel. The dialogue is dark and often hilarious, and the on-screen chemistry between Thurman and Travolta electric. Continue to relive this classic by muttering Jule’s favourite bible passage, Ezekiel 25:17, during lectures – ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men…’

The dude abides The dude abides

  3)  The Big Lebowski

‘They figured he was a lazy time wasting slacker. They were right.’ This tagline from the the Coen brothers’ cult 1998 hit could be applied to most any Arts student. Jeff Bridges takes on the role of Jeffrey Lebowski, a fan of bowling, weed and not taking life too seriously. After a case of mistaken identity involving a wealthy, bitter old man - also called Jeffrey Lebowski - he agrees to assist in tracking down the millionaire’s kidnapped wife. John Goodman, Steve Busceimi, John Turtorro and Tara Reid amongst many other recognisable faces make this one of the more popular offerings from the Coens. It also provides yet another example of a modest box office showing that has now been eclipsed by the film’s cult status. Lebowski Festivals take place around the world annually, with even a miniature event taking place at the 2009 Cork Midsummer’s Festival. Jeff Bridges is also known to attend the events at random, leading to the surreal scene of dozens of Lebowskis milling about amongst the real one. So grow your beard, put on a bathrobe and grab a white Russian – the dude abides.

4)  Groundhog Day

Never hear “I got you Babe” without shuddering again. Phil Connors is a weatherman stuck in a dead end job and a cycle of hated assignments; the most despised being his annual trip to Punxsutawney to cover the Groundhog Day Festival. Having been forced to stay an extra day in “Hicksville” thanks to a blizzard, Phil awakes to find it February the 2nd – over and over again. You’ll find yourself both cheering for and loathing the self-centred Connors in equal amounts as he deals with issues like the meaning of life, love, suicide and a groundhog. Any film that makes us ask ourselves the very same questions that the central character is dealing with is always a good sign. Bill Murray is undoubtedly the star, performing in classic dead pan mode in one of his best performances in a lengthily but too often understated career. Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen “Needle-Nose Ned” Tobolowsky all add to its calibre.

 

5)  The Princess Bride

It would be inconceivable to leave this out of the top ten (particularly since a certain female in my life made it clear to do so would be unwise). Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... What more do you want?

 

6)  Trainspotting  

This harrowing portrayal of the intertwining lives of four disaffected Scots makes student life suddenly look far more appealing. A masterful adaption of Irvine Welsh’s novel (who actually appears in the film as a minor drug dealer), it charters Renton’s struggle to move away from a life of drug-use, chaos and violence whilst ‘friends’ Spud, Sick Boy, Tommy and Begbie both consciously and sub-consciously sabotage him at every turn. It is difficult to watch at times (particularly the truly horrific baby on the ceiling scene), but also hilarious in places (Spud’s job interview or his cringe worthy soiled sheets incident at breakfast). The perfectly selected accompanying soundtrack further draws you into the story. Every element works in synchronisation to make the events portrayed truly believable and they will leave you thinking long after the credits roll.

A scene from Plan 9 A scene from Plan 9

  7)  Plan 9 from Outer Space

The opening lines will give you a clue as to the appallingly poor yet irreverently humorous nature of this creation by Ed Wood - ‘Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.’ The plot can be summed up as fearful aliens resurrecting the dead on Earth as zombies in order to prevent the completion of a doomsday weapon by humanity. Despite bearing the unfortunate mark of many B-movies (terrible acting, script, and special effects in equal amounts alongside Bella Lugosi), it somehow works to make for a hugely entertaining film.

 

8)  The Frat Pack Films

Who hasn’t flashed a drunken blue steel pose in Cubins or streaked across campus with security in pursuit? This entry is for all those who love the seemingly endless appearance of films containing one or more of the following - Ben Stiller, Owen/Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn or Steve Carrell. By the beard of Zeus! If you can dodge a wrench, then you can dodge a ball.

"Lisa you are tearing me apart" (The Room) "Lisa you are tearing me apart" (The Room)

  9)  The Room

Critics calling a film “The Citizen Kane of bad movies” would have to make you think twice about watching it, but this is another cult classic. Taking a reported $2000 dollars (having cost $7 million to make) on its opening run (thank you Wikipedia), this has it all - stilted dialogue, unintentional humour, gaping plot holes and a lead character who sounds like a cross between an Austrian Borat and that weird electronic voice on your computer. The Room continues to enjoy special screenings worldwide due to a bizarrely large fan base, who like nothing better than to hurl plastic spoons at the screen (watch it and you’ll understand).


10)  Monty Python (all of them)

This entry requires no further validation. We are the Knights who say … Ni!

I coulda been a contender


Blazing Saddles

Spaceballs

Reservoir Dogs

Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

Honourable mention


Fight Club – I was tempted to write yawn club given the overuse of quotes from this unique offering for its time. It might still be considered a cult classic, but the first rule of … meh.


Killer Tomatoes Eat France(or Les Tomats Français Munch Munch) - The fourth installation in the Killer Tomatoes series and arguably the best.


Avatar – the newest release amongst the gems listed here, it should certainly achieve cult status given support groups are already being set up to help depressed fans cope with the fact that they will never experience the wonders of Pandora.

 

 

 

 

Oh my god ... this is an entertaining article! (Another scene from Troll 2) Oh my god ... this is an entertaining article! (Another scene from Troll 2)

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